Merry Men's Day Off
by MIBbabe
Summary: A response to a challenge set on another site. Just a bit of fun. The Merry Men begin Mission Blind Bats. BABE. Rated M for language.


BS CHALLENGE

MERRY MENS DAY OFF

PICK TWO OF YOUR FAVORITE MERRY MEN AND LET THEM HAVE A DAY OFF. YOU CAN PICK FROM THE USUSAL SUSPECTS OR CREATE ONE OR TWO NEW ONES IF YOU WANT. NOW HERE IS THE CATCH YOUR TWO MERRY MEN SEE STEPH AND RANGER IN A COMPROMISING POSITION, BUT THEY CAN'T LET THEM KNOW THEY'VE BEEN CAUGHT. (AND COMPROMISING POSITION DON'T HAVE TO MEAN JUST SEXUALLY)

Title: Merry Men's Day Off (Babe Squad Challenge)

Author: MIBbabe aka sasbooey

Short Story : Complete

Disclaimer : I don't own the Stephanie Plum World. JE does. I am just playing.

"OK men, for this mission there are two targets. We have the intel, now we need solid evidence. Photographs, video footage, voice recordings. It must be indisputable. This mission is too sensitive to allow for any error."

Tank stares down harshly every man in the room while standing front and centre. He needs assurance these men know how important and significant this mission is. This is a mission like no other the men in front of him have experienced before and failure is not an option.

"You must remain incognito. Failure to achieve this will be detrimental for all. These are two targets not to be underestimated and if we are discovered no hurricane will be of comparison. They will destroy and overpower."

Tank pauses while some of the men gulp pass the lump forming in their throats. A couple of the men are a shade lighter as their faces pale. Tank hears a soft murmur of "shit" and Lester's response of "fuck man, throwing us in the centre of a Colombian drug cartel unarmed would be better than this." Tank glares at Lester before saying,

"Never took you for a pussy, Santos. You just volunteered for the first recon."

Lester groans.

"Woody, you're up first with Santos. Mission Blind Bats is dangerous men and one I hope we all return from safely". The hands of hardened soldiers drift protectively to cover their most treasured tool at the front of their cargos.

"Any questions?" Tank calls.

At the negative nods of the war ready soldiers in front of him, Tank continues,

"Good. Now fall out."

"HOOAH" and the men leave to prepare and move out.

Les and Woody change clothes before moving out. The men will be too conspicuous in black SWAT gear where they are going.

Arriving at the location, Woody and Lester spot the targets in the distance and report back to Tank before heading closer to gather evidence. "You ready for this man?" Woody asks.

"Hell No. This is SNAFU". Les responds as they covertly fall into the surroundings, blending in. Closing the distance between them and the targets the operatives stop short at the sight in front of them. Shit.

"What the hell?" Les remarks.

"I don't know man but we have a job to do" Woody replies.

The men look on as they watch Steph with her head levelled at Ranger's 'Happy Place' and his hands in her hair. Steph's niece is dancing and bouncing around the two. The little girl has a head band on Rangers head. He looks like he has pink and purple hair sprouting from his head and completing the look, pink wings are looped on one arm.

Woody turns to Lester with a chuckle, "I guess the wings didn't fit on both arms".

Steph's niece Lisa, is waving a wand like she is casting a spell. Woody starts laughing and between the laughter he gasps out "I wonder... If he... He will turn... Into a... A pumpkin". Lester laughs at that and adds "maybe he needs to be home by midnight before he turns into a frog".

When the guys settle down, Lester asks, "what the hell is he wearing?"

"Abby Cadabby costume". Woody states easily as if this situation is a regular occurrence. Lester raises an eyebrow in question.

"What? Man I have nieces, they love Sesame St. Don't you have a whole bunch of nieces you buy Christmas gifts for? How do you not know what they like?" Woody responds.

"Jesus, I don't have a bunch. I have a whole tribe of nieces and nephews. My family is a baby making factory but I only buy gift cards for Christmas".

"Man, that's not showing the love".

"I prefer to show my love in other areas with beautiful single women". Lester smirks back before focusing back in the scene in front of them.

"Which brings us back to the sight in front of us. Jeez, Rangeman keep it PG rated. Steph looks like she's having a lollipop and not the kind of lollipop that Stephs niece has in her other hand". Lester and Woody take out their phones and start snapping pictures. They needed evidence after all.

"I can't wait to show the guys this". Woody looks giddy with anticipation when he smirks at Lester.

RANGER'S POV

I saw Steph at the Bonds office this morning when she said she was having a day off and spending it at the beach. At the time my mind filled with images of Babe in a bikini laying in the sun, wild curls scattered on a beach towel. Babe walking out of the surf glistening with salt water running over the curves of her body. Babe rubbing her hands over her body as she applies suntan lotion... Hell, me running my hands over her body applying suntan lotion.

I had to force a redirection of my thoughts before I backed Babe up against the wall of the bonds office and started peeling clothes off her, kissing her, touching her, tasting her, breathing in her scent. Oh god.

This was the perfect opportunity to spend some time with Babe without the Burg watch dogs breathing down her neck. So I decided to conveniently meet up with her there. Of course Steph didn't know I was coming.

Now here I am at the beach with Steph... And her niece Lisa. Things are not going as I planned. Sure Babe is in a bikini but I had to back peddle on my previous plans for more age appropriate activities. Damn.

To make things worse, when Steph reached across me to pick up the sunscreen, Lisa jumped on Steph's yelling 'I'm a monkey'. Steph's chest fell forward into my crotch and now her hair is caught in the zipper of my pants. How the hell did she manage that? Steph is in close proximity to my dick and I feel myself harden. Fuck. How else is a man to respond when a sexy woman has her head so close to his dick. I try not to think about it and not respond like I really want to but the thought of only a piece of fabric separating Babe from me and her soft, moist, warm lips, pops into my head. I groan.

I put my hands into Stephs hair to pull away the curls so I can get a clear look at the situation and offer my assistance. Lisa is now dancing around us. She puts a purple and pink head band on my head, follows by pulling my hand saying "Ranger, dress up time" and slipping an elastic loop attached to pink wings on my hand and sliding it up my arm. I let out a soft growl that only Steph hears. Steph slaps me, "Ranger, get over it. This is what little kids do and you wanted to be here. Now get me out of your pants".

I chuckle at her last words "Babe, I would love to keep you in my pants but we have company". Steph slaps my leg again while she blushes red.

While I help Steph, Lisa continues dancing around. Then she suddenly stops and takes in the situation between Steph and I. Oh shit.

"Auntie Steph? Are you giving Ranger a Raspberry?"

"Umm" Steph starts to reply but doesn't finish because Lisa interrupts.

"That's not how to blow a Raspberry. I show you" and before I know it Lisa grabs at my T-shirt and pulls it up my chest. Lisa drops her head beside Stephs and proceeds to place her mouth on my stomach blowing hard. Lisa sits back up and giggles.

"See? That's how to do it" Lisa says

"Ah. Thanks baby I didn't know how to..." Steph turns her head slightly, a wicked gleam in her eyes "blow..." she glances down at my dick "a raspberry". I groan again this time adding a "babe" and falling to lay back on the towel rubbing my hands over my face.

Lisa calls my name and I turn my head to look at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Ranger. Raspberries work better when you are more soft. You are too hard." Lisa states jabbing her little finger into my stomach.

I turn back to staring at the sky and groan again. "Thanks. I won't forget that Lisa. Ever again". Steph loses it laughing uncontrollably.

LESTER'S POV

We finish up our re-con and return to Rangeman. In the conference room we shared our evidence to the riotous laughter of everyone. Even Tank couldn't control himself.

Woody had informed me on the way back to Rangeman that I needed some lessons in southern hospitality and the ways of a gentleman. Apparently I needed to be more affectionate to my nieces and nephews and show how much I love them by knowing them and taking an interest in their lives. I should be setting an example for the little members of my family.

Woody is now educating me on the likes of little minds by introducing me to Sesame St. We are navigating the website when I ask "OK man I must know about this muppet Ranger was dressed up as". Woody chuckles and clicks on the link for Abby Cadabby. A happy kiddie tune fills the air.

Look up high, in the sky,

It's a school; it can fly!

Let's all hurry to the flying fairy school.

Grab your wands.

Yee-haw!

Bring your wings.

(Giggle)

We will learn magic things.

Let's all hurry to the flying fairy school.

How to make things grow.

And how to make things shrink.

How to solve a problem with our single twinkle think.

This school is really magic,

(something, something, something).

Let's go in, let's begin, at flying fairy school.

_(Abby's Fairy Flying School theme song)_

I glance at the screen taking in all the information available to me on one Abby Cadabby and I can't help myself. I laugh my ass off.

I turn to Woody saying "I wonder if he made it to Abby's Flying Fairy School. I bet he would have appreciated knowing how to _'make things grow' _and to '_make things shrink'_.

Woody and I are laughing when we hear "what the hell is going on here?" Shit. We really need to be more aware. Woody and I turn around to face Ranger. Fuck. He can't know what we are doing and talking about. Ranger will kill us. Beautiful will kill us. Then Tank will kill us for screwing up Mission Blind Bats.

"Hey Boss. I am searching for Christmas gifts for our nieces and nephews". Ranger raises an eyebrow, "since when do you give a shit about what gifts you buy our family?" he says.

Thinking quickly I reply, "Well, I lost this bet to Woody". I glance quickly at Woody and he quickly picks up from where I left off.

"Yeah. Dumbass Santos here thought he could pick up more women trolling around a bar. I bet that I would pick up more women shopping for my nieces and nephews. Today was our day off", to Ranger's knowledge anyway, I add to myself, "and we used it for Santos to witness my beating his ass. He lost. The ladies love it when you show how much you love your family, especially your nieces ans nephews". I glare at Woody. I could easily take him on picking up the ladies and win.

Ranger nods blankly and walks away. Thank god. We saved our asses.

Woody and I release a breath of relief.

Later that night available Rangemen are assembled in Tanks apartment. We decide to sort and consolidate evidence here, away from Ranger. We are going over today's results. There is picture evidence of Ranger and Steph in the alley behind the Bonds office. They are staring into each others eyes, small smiles playing on their lips. There is a series of shots like this. Them holding each other. Kissing each other. Simply staring at each other and a great shoot of Ranger walking away from Steph. He is glancing back at Steph as he turns the corner while she is looking at him from where he left her in the alley. Steph's fingers are lightly touching her lips as if trying to preserve the feeling of Rangers lips on hers.

There is also the photographic evidence Woody and I gathered and aside from the comical moment, we have some excellent shots of the two at the beach with Lisa. Lisa had proved to be an asset today in our evidence gathering. We have a photo of the three walking in the shallow water of the shore, Lisa in the middle holding hands. Ranger and Steph are looking at each other while they lift and swing Lisa up into the air. Another shot is of Ranger sitting on the sand, Steph sitting between his legs with her back to his chest. Steph is leaning to the side and looking up at a Ranger while he is looking down at her. Lisa is playing with Rangers hair.

Tank looks up after reviewing the evidence from day one of Mission Blind Bats.

"This a great start. Our plan is coming into fruition. We continue to gather evidence and when we have all we want then we move onto phase two of the Mission, capture and detain the targets."

Cal speaks up "what next then boss?"

"We pray like hell that those two blind and stubborn friends of ours see what is right in front of them and get their asses together like it should be. As a couple. Or we knock their heads together until they see things our way"

The guys chuckle before I remind them of something more important.

"And pray like hell Ranger and Steph don't kick our asses. We all know how Steph prefers to deliver an ass kicking. Only it's not the ass that receives it and Ranger will drop us in the middle of fucking now where to find our way home".

Woody replies, "I really hope this works."

Silence fills the room.


End file.
